Dating for people with mental illness
To deny that would be to deny a piece of ourselves and the relationships we build with people we love.
But we also can't ignore the way those disorders can complicate things — especially when it comes to getting close to someone else.
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Around 2004 it was underway but it wasn’t as big as it is now. All these jokes about, you know, ‘What does psycho 1 plus psycho 2 equal? Every once in awhile you get someone whose user profile is “Batshit crazy” or something, or says, “I like to put heads in my freezer,” joke stuff like that. What are some of the mental illnesses that your users have? Asperger’s doesn’t exist anymore, now it’s an autism spectrum disorder. I think a lot of it was just a negative self-image. I do have something pretty serious, here.” That was around ’92. I thought, “I’ll meet a girl this way.” But eventually it changed a lot. I don’t have numbers on that, but generally certain illnesses pair together better than others.
On top of that, when we're in the grips of a panic attack, manic episode, or serious depression, it's hard for our partners to know what's really going on or what they can do to make it easier for us.
Often, it turns out, less is more: All we need is someone to listen in a nonjudgemental way and remind us that everything will, actually, be okay.
Leftwich spoke with me about the challenges of running the site and about why he believes forming loving relationships should be recommended more frequently than pills. It was one of those things where I looked for something and it didn’t exist. ’ because that can be a big deal among people that are mentally ill. I was diagnosed with what’s called it falls under a schizophrenia spectrum disorder…you’re blessed with both a psychotic disorder and a depressive disorder so it’s one of the more chronic diagnoses. That’s my only hospitalization, but I was there for about two months. By going on the site, you don’t have to worry about disclosing it to anybody. What are your feelings on treating mental illnesses? She didn’t know much about mental illness, but she accepted me.
I’m still facing that challenge but it’s a big world. But I don’t think people identify themselves that much as, ‘I am that or this.’ I am somebody who struggles with [a psychiatric] diagnosis and I take medicine for it. Would it be fair to say that it took about ten years to say, “OK, look, I’ve got a handle on this. Whereas, another person, even if their function is pretty high but they’re experiencing a lot of the same things as the other person, there could be a bond there. Try to do something meaningful.’ And they leave out the most important parts like: ‘Bond with people.
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